Hi, Subarna. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story with us.
I'm truly empathized with you, I've also had a phase in my life where I'm just done with getting my feelings hurt, then I just felt numb for a long period of time. It was a really hard time in my life, especially dealing with the feeling of loneliness -- when there were actually many people around me. I just felt like nobody loved me.
But, after years of emotional repression, I tried to get better, I stood up and chose to heal, rather than letting the bitterness got the best of me.
I'm glad you're starting to get better and opening yourself for healing, Subarna. Healing ourselves from feeling of numbness due to emotional pain takes time, but trust me, it must starts with ourselves.
I believe you could get through this phase and be much much stronger than ever. Just don't be too hard on yourself. I believe in you :)
Keep going and keep being you!